Friday, August 15, 2008
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God's Call Offers Freedom From Sexual Immorality
from such_were_you
Christian guys, I saw a good question on someone's blog today: Why do men and porn go together like peanut butter and jelly?
It's an excellent question, and the most obvious answer is that men are just geared that way. That's the answer the world gives us and the one we'd like to accept, but it isn't the truth. The truth is that men, like the other half of the population, don't like what they don't understand.Feelings are very subtle things for us guys. We channel our fear, doubt, hurt, caring, compassion, creativity, sensitivity, et al, into two completely safe destinations: Sexual expression or anger. We accept for ourselves either the upraised fist or the stiff penis. In this society, men are becoming more and more two-dimensional. And let's face it, men are safer if we can just keep them to those two base emotions.
I was a sexually immoral person, and when I say that I mean I was gay. I don't mean that I just acted in an immoral way, but was immoral by the very fact that I accepted for myself something other than what God had lovingly and graciously created for me to have and to be.
I was an irresponsible, immature, selfish prick who wanted what I wanted no matter the cost to anyone else. If you're gay, into porn, "hooking up" etc. then you are sexually immoral person who is irresponsible, immature, selfish, who wants what you want no matter what it costs yourself or others. I'm convinced, so don't attempt to convince me otherwise. Life experience, and extensive study leave me with no other conclusions.
Christian Men, we have to grow up now. We have to embrace what God has called us to be in our homes, churches, and world. We are called to servant leadership. We're called lay our lives down as Christ laid His life down for the Church; first in our families, and then the world. That's the call to us. Don't worry about what God has called women to do and be, God will not judge us according to how well the women kept His commands.
Why do men and porn go together like peanut butter and jelly? Simple, because we don't want to deal with the very difficult and personally costly emotions like fear, doubt, and hurt. It's so much easier to "make it" with porn. All we need to make it with porn is a bottle of lube, something to release into, and our hand. To make it with one woman for a lifetime takes everything we've got in us to give and a whole lot of grace. That, and a solid, growing relationship with God. Once we've recognized how much it will take to be with one woman for the rest of our lives, we will realize that this woman and our children, need a place to be a family. When we realize there is no place for a family in this society we'll have to face the next thing. The next thing is that the world can be made a better place when we men do what Jesus called us to do.
Just as God sent His Son, so Jesus sends us into the world. Luke 4:18-19:
“ The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD.”That's the call, boys. So it's completely understandable that we'd want to run away to violence and porn. But for one little fact....porn and anger don't do it for us. The call doesn't diminish, doesn't cease, won't ever leave us alone. We're between the Rock and a hard place. Immorality or Jesus; life or death.
We can continue to be part of the problem with our shallow sexual immorality, childish anger, petty selfishness, or we can repent, and begin anew to follow Christ as we are called to do.
As far as the ability to get it done, well that's something we don't need to worry about at all. God's already taken care of that. Remember what Jesus said,
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
It's Christ's yoke that is easy and light. We've just accepted a lie and a burden for ourselves that sexual immorality and pointless anger are easier than God's call. Jesus has freedom, but you and I are going to have to be stretched beyond what we think is possible for us. The question is will we allow Him to do it in our lives?
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Comments (316)
I think while the spirit of this is very well-intentioned, it will confuse the heck out of people.
This post would have done much better to begin with a discussion of the concept of sexuality, and then show how it leads to the Christian viewpoint of what is and is not moral in terms of sexuality. Finally, it could conclude with that line.
Instead, you have something saying, "Freedom from sexual immorality!"
And the masses will say, "Uh, hello? We're trying as hard as we can to engage in sexual immorality. Why would we want freedom from it?"
Really the only people who would immediately grasp the need for freedom without such an explanation are the truly jaded (who are just tired of the whole thing, have done everything, but still have annoying impulses driving them on) and those who already understand the underlying concepts (and who presumably don't need to read this.)
Finally - I think there are a great many theologians who would take offense at your statement that "Christ's yoke is easy and light."
Interesting. I so agree with the difficulty it means being with one woman as opposed to being loose or having it both ways, etc.
I honestly still can't see homosexuality as unethical. Furthermore, I doubt you have completely expunged lust for other men. You have merely repressed it.
But I agree that the root of true sexual immorality is evil influence on someone's life.
Wow... from a christian ladies perspective, I applaud you. 110% percent applaud you. It is disheartening many times from a ladies perspective looking on to see so many men struggling with the same thing, and we can't help but wonder why. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Blessings as you continue to walk and serve Him!
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - I assume you are intimate friends with the poster. If not, I am left in awe of your continued omniscience that provides insight into someone you have never met.
The main question of the post, however, is inappropriately framed.
A more appropriate posing would be "Why do men and porn go together like moths and flames, lemmings and the sea, Belushi and heroin?"
i was really interested in this topic..... but frankly, i couldn't get past your views on your own past sexuality. i just feel badly for you.
"If you're gay, into porn, "hooking up" etc. then you are sexually
immoral person who is irresponsible, immature, selfish, who wants what
you want no matter what it costs yourself or others. I'm convinced,
so don't attempt to convince me otherwise. "
Then why post this on a median where feedback is allowed? Why not even be open to listening to opposing viewpoints? The man who says "I already know for sure, so don't even bother trying to offering a differing opinion" is a person who has no desire to learn (either about others or themselves). A person refines what they think and believe by hearing things contrary to what they think and believe. If you allow yourself zero feedback, you are limiting yourself greatly.
"Feelings are very subtle things for us guys. We channel our fear,
doubt, hurt, caring, compassion, creativity, sensitivity, et al, into
two completely safe destinations: Sexual expression or anger. We
accept for ourselves either the upraised fist or the stiff penis. In
this society, men are becoming more and more two-dimensional. And
let's face it, men are safer if we can just keep them to those two base
emotions. "
Generalizations like these are the sexist equivalent of me saying "women are overemotional and cry about the silliest things, if they could only be more logical there wouldn't be so many conflicts between themselves and them and men." Yes, maybe men are on average a little less in touch with their emotional side. To bunch men's emotions into either anger or sexual expression is a ridiculous notion. Good luck finding a respected psychologist who would agree with that analysis.
So much of this post is so ridiculous in its analysis of base human emotions and what a typical man is that it hurts my brain.
Wow....labelling everyone who would identify as "gay" as immoral...interesting....does "gay" mean to you that the person is having sex with those of the same sex, or can someone be "gay" and merely have feelings for the same sex? B/c if your defintion is the latter....ouch....I sure wouldn't want to be in fellowship with you. Where's the compassion in that? Oh wait...there isn't any....
@whataboutbahb@xanga - I couldn't agree with you more. I think that you hit the nail right on the head with your thoughts.
nicely said.
I can relate to this on a different scale. I was a virgin until the day I was married. I'd never had sex with anyone, though there were a few instances where I came close. However, in my mind, I was Casanova! My imagination would at times run wild, and I'll admit that it came, primarily, from looking at bikini babes on the `net and in magazines....and in case anyone thinks that this isn't a form of porn, think again, because some of those bikinis and swimsuits can make a ghuy's mind run wild. Mine did, and I allowed it to do so for years. However, starting about seven years ago, God realy put me under a lot of conviction. Every time I'd read Matthew 5.27-30, the Holy Ghost would just hammer me. One of the churches that I was apart of in college was sending me their services on tape, and one set that they sent me was from their Spring Revival in 2001. In it was a hrd-hitting message about lust, and how lust can control, how it destroys. The Evangelist was Dr. Chaarles "Chuck" Millhuff (www.millhuffministries.com), and his message also spoke about wha the devil offers, what we hear from him, and compared that o what God offers and what we hear from him. I'll never forget what the good Evangelist said: "We hear the devil's temptations, and they sound so good, but really, it is no comaprison to what Jesus Christ is offering. It's like the difference in music: Jesus offers us a full orchestra, better than any symphony in the world, while the devil's offerings in comparison are like a kazoo. There is no comparison! Yet, too many of us get used to that kazoo music from the devil, and we think its the best in the world!" Needless to say, the Holy Spirit worked on me, and it was after that particular message that I gave all my lustful desires to Jesus Christ, and he cleansed my heart and mind. Now, mind you, lust was, and still is, a bit of a struggle, seeing how I live in a country that has nearly-open pornography (it is even in the local sports daily papers here, as well as sports magazines). However, ever since I married in 2005, I understand totally what Dr. Millhuff is saying. Intimacy wsith my wife is the offered orchestra of Jesus Christ, whil my imaginations, my lust, and the devil's temptatiosn thereto are kazoo music....
As far as the topic of homosexuality in this article, I believe this author is rght on the money. Homosexuality is just the basest, lowest denominator, and the almost-final level of the sexually immoral.
I'm really glad to see someone back on topic.
You wrote:
"As far as the ability to get it done, well that's something we don't
need to worry about at all. God's already taken care of that."
I had begun to write some thoughts on that, but I decided I would just ask you a question first:
What do you mean by "we don't need to worry about at all. God's already taken care of that"?
Thanks.
@JandJinJapan@xanga wrote: "Homosexuality is just the basest, lowest denominator, and the almost-final level of the sexually immoral."
When we begin to lapse into "ranking" sins in this way, we can be in danger of falling into the Pharisaical attitudes. "I thank God I am not a sinner like that tax collector."
We are all sinners. We all deserve condemnation. But because of God's great love for us, He sent His Son Jesus Christ to take the punishment we deserved so we might be saved. There's nothing in us to merit salvation whatsoever.
But we like to take our list of sins we're not prone to and say, I'm not a ________, or I don't do _______, so I'm more spiritual or a better person than so and so. It's easy for us to compare our filthy rags to the filthy rags of other men, so we don't look quite so bad in our own eyes. But how often do we compare our filthy rags to the shining righteousness and holiness of God?
All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
But in His great grace and mercy to sinful men, Jesus calls to thirsty sinners to come to Him.
As we see ourselves as "the chief of sinners,' the cross of Christ becomes more glorious to us.
naphtali_deer@xanga, not to nitpick, but the Apostle Paul seems to agree, according to what he wrote in Romans 1. Further, I'm no better than anyone else, a forgiven sinner in the eyes of grace and of the LORD. At the same time, when it comes to homosexuality and the baseness of a culture or society that accepts it as the norm, God seems to take particular exception. What other city did God personally wipe out for theft or for lying?
why is porn and masturbation so bad? it ain't hurtin nobody.
it's all rather ridiculous if you ask me.
@easalien@xanga -
"why is porn and masturbation so bad?"
doh! And if porn is involved that means 2 die (if it's gay porn make it 3). See how it works now? Good.
i agree with you that men have a high calling and huge responsibility as husbands, fathers, friends, etc. the stance on homosexuality is not going to be understood by non-christians, but i think for most christians, they will agree with you. i'm not one to target people for their sin, but you're right that homosexuality - like all other sins - is rooted in selfishness and desire to control your life completely, apart from God.
there's too much to say on this topic, but thank you for writing this. as a woman, i appreciate that there are men who are thinking about this.
@whataboutbahb@xanga - man...i never knew it was so destructive. for the kittens...for the kittens...
@naphtali_deer@xanga and @whataboutbahb@xanga - Great responses!
Author - Please do not put homosexuals in the same category as people who watch and enjoy porn. Some of my closest friends are homosexual. Are they sexually depraved? Of course not! They, too, desire the same thing I desire - a lifelong partner for whom to love and care. They are faithful and caring individuals who want nothing more than love and who deserve the utmost dignity and respect.
As an aside, I find the history of porn to be an interesting one in the United States. From what I have learned in my Sociology classes, both porn and prostitution have (1) reduced sexual violence (e.g., rape) and (2) saved marriages. This is verbatim. There are studies to back this up, according to my professors. (Argue with Dr. Stafford of The University of Texas at Austin about the validity of these statements, not me.) Regardless of the validity, though, we should be looking at these issues from a social standpoint and not just a Christian standpoint. For those who have accepted Jesus, they have a choice between (1) engaging in immoral sexual acts and (2) living for God. For those who have not accepted Jesus (or any religion that finds these acts reprehensible), they have no choice. How do we go about reforming these individuals? We cannot just preach the Bible because, most likely, these individuals do not want to hear it. We need to teach people about respect and love without using religion contextually.
Furthermore, we never talk about the victims – the people engaging in prostitution and pornography. Yes, porn stars usually choose their careers. I can imagine that their lives are broken, even with all the money they have earned. We see these people as the tempters though. Yet, the Devil has a stranglehold on them, as well. Have you ever thought about praying for these porn stars?
What about prostitution? You look at streetwalkers with disgust. We never listen to their stories, though, of abuse, poverty, et cetera. Instead, we associate them with pure evil and then advise others to stay away from them. Read John 8. Try having compassion for them. Try to understand that they have difficult lives. When we separate ourselves from those who are sexually depraved, we begin to sound self-righteous, like the Pharisees. Let’s help people rather than condemn them.
That was a long aside (lol).
Being gay isn't a choice >_>.
And its not immoral.
That's one of the many things that irritates me the most. Its very OBVIOUS that its by birth. Given, its a physical defect. But so is being blonde haired and blue eyed at the same time and nobody is calling them "immoral" or saying they're "going against God."
While I can't say I agree with you about homosexuality, I appreciate that there are some men who don't find excuses for looking at porn, but rather discontinue the immature act altogether. :)
This is a great post! Thank you for your honesty.
@moritheil@xanga -
"Finally - I think there are a great many theologians who would take offense at your statement that 'Christ's yoke is easy and light.'" If you read the post, you would see that the poster didn't say that Christ's yoke is easy... Christ himself said it, so if anyone takes offense to that (which there's no need to, because it's true) they should take offense to Christ, not the poster.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - You can't see homosexuality as unethical? Are you for real? Have you ever read the Bible? 1 Cor 6:9-10 "Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals,...shall inherit the kingdom of God." How much more plain does God have to make it?? I don't understand why the majority has trouble reading and comprehending this scripture.
@abchurch006@xanga - You have me there.
What you are saying to la_faerie_joyeuse is a little odd, though, seeing as she does not identify herself as Christian. Nor, I suspect, do some of the other people you can't understand.
@moritheil@xanga - right on.