Monday, August 18, 2008
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What Does It Mean To Be "a Good Christian?"
Since reinserting myself somewhat into the Christian community, I've mulled over two questions I could never find an answer for: What does it mean to be a good Christian? And more importantly, am *I* a good Christian?
After more or less secularizing myself during college, I stopped wondering whether or not I'm a good Christian simply because I wasn't around enough brothers and sisters to measure myself up against some kind of standard. Now that I spend quality time with a number of Christians in my age group, however, I've started using the "holy measuring stick" on myself, never mind feeling resentful of those who bust it out all on their on.
By all external means, I do not think I am a good, "holy" Christian. While attending a Christian high school, I felt like one of those wallflower Christians who gets overshadowed by the worship team, prayer warriors, or mission trip leaders. It hasn't improved much since I've gone to college. I laugh at all the Jesus cameos in Family Guy. I curse a lot over the lunch table. My college friends and I somehow manage to worm sexual innuendos into a good 80% of our very loud conversations. I hit up the bars when I have time. I'm a proud member of a huge, impenetrable clique of girls. I pray most often before final exams (or when I want some guy to like me.) I'm not one to sport a purity ring. I can't enter a debate about predestination or the Trinity without tripping over my faulty logic. I can quote Friends without fail, but I can't quote scripture without mixing up the words of Paul with those of Timothy. I feel really awkward praying out loud or raising my hands when worshipping. I don't do quiet times every day. Last year, I used my Bible as a mirror stand.
I don't think these things necessarily make me a "bad Christian," but at the same time, I feel highly convicted when I realize that others do not see Christ in me...maybe because of these things, and maybe because my actions risk causing others to stumble. On the one hand, I know that human standards do not compare to God's; you can be the most vocal worship leader yet still be utterly depraved on the inside. On the other hand, whenever I reflect on the verse, "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart," (1 Samuel 16:7b) I examine my own intentions and realize that they are not aligned with God's. I do not feel convicted because I think being a small group leader would make me a better Christian; I feel convicted because my insecurities with human standards reveal the real, inward lack of involvement that perhaps only God and I are really aware of.
This summer, God's shown me that it's not about whether or not I'm a good Christian, it's about whether or not I have a good relationship with God. If it is healthy, it will show, and people may perceive me as a good Christian even when I'm not a worship leader, a prayer warrior, or a reliable scripture-quoter. And who knows, maybe once my relationship with God is right, I will feel compelled to serve him in those ways or to let Him use me in more "obvious" Christian ways. If I put God first, and if my desires are aligned with God's, everything else with naturally follow, though perhaps in ways I do not foresee or even prefer.
What do you think it means to be "a good Christian?" Do you feel like one at the moment?
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Comments (68)
I believe it's all about the relationship. If we truly put God first, we will be what He wants us to be. People will not be able to help seeing Jesus in us. And it doesn't matter whether other people think we're perfect enough; it's God's opinion that matters. We can't do right on our own; only Christ in us can do good things. The more we admit our own bankruptcy and yield to Christ, the more Christian we become. When we put God first, we can't help pointing others to Him.
I don't feel like a good Christian right now. My times with God have gotten shoved to one side during my busy season. Stupid idea of mine, that. But I'm getting better, one aching day at a time. Nothing horrible is happening to me currently, but I miss being close with Him. I can do better than this.
But, I don't feel trapped by guilt either. I'm not worried about being a good Christian. I want to be my Father's daughter. Someone He can be proud of. I'm doing my best not to put my (or other people's) perceptions of what is "good" before what He wants from me.
It might be "good" of me to volunteer 20 hours of my week to helping out at a foodbank, but I know God wants me to focus on my home right now. Not to refuse helping others, but to make sure my family gets my best not my leftovers. When I'm mature enough and exercising my faith enough to volunteer large chunks of time on top of meeting my family's needs, I'll be ready to obey. Right now, I'm training in motherhood, wifedom, and using my gifts. That's about all I can take right now.
~V
The most important thing to consider is, it ain't about us. There was nothing we could do to make ourselves good enough to be accepted by God, and there's nothing we can do to make God love us more or less when (if) we are Christians.
The important first question is, do you believe in Jesus and trust His Word? I mean with your mind and your heart. I don't mean you don't ever question your faith, or such, but do you say, "I do believe, help my unbelief"? Are you saved? If you're trusting in anything you've done, you're at least mistaken, and possibly not saved.
Now - that's not to say that our sin nature is all gone now and we don't still do things in our own strength, because that nature is still there - I don't mean that you trust him perfectly 24/7, that makes faith into a work.
I digress... If you're a believer the question is, what is the change in your life since you believed? This can't be compared between people. There are times of dryness where we feel God has abandoned us. There are great "mountain top" experiences when He opens our minds to understand a passage of Scripture. And there are times that we're frustrated and feel like giving up. There are times when we shake our fist at Him in anger, and say "I'll show you! I just won't go to church ever again!" or whatever. Everyone grows at a different pace, sometimes we stop growing for a while, and sometimes we regress.
We're dust and He knows it! If we could obey perfectly then He had no reason to die on a cross. The question then becomes, is your life marked by confession of sin as soon as you're aware of it? Are you quick to go to God when you sin, knowing that he's the only one who can cleanse you of it? Do you get back up and go on, or do you look at your sin like it doesn't matter, that "Lets sin all the more so that grace abounds"?
Ultimately only you and God know if you're a believer. If you're really freaked out about that, then you're probably a believer and should calm down. :) Try to live your life as though it was Christ living through you - not Him helping you to do something. Victory is not you overcoming sin, it is Christ overcoming you. Will you let Him obey God for you through you? The striving then becomes a striving to trust Him and die to self, rather than to try to please people by leading worship or trying to make God love you more by what you do.
A good Christian is Christ-like.
That's it.
Everyone is good in God's eyes!
"If I put God first, and if my desires are aligned with God's, everything else with naturally follow, though perhaps in ways I do not foresee or even prefer."
I really like that last statement you made, over the last few months I have seen that happening in my life. This post was sweet and I have to thank you for being open to your readers.
A great point that you bring up is how outside appearance doesn't always matter, and as obvious as that may sound, people still fall into a rut of judging others by how "holy" they seem (that worship band thing hit-home for me because I help lead worship in my youth group and sometimes give lessons, I know the pride that can accompany those things all to well). The Pharisees had the appearance of being "good", but Jesus spoke against their lifestyles throughout Matthew, they were actually self-centered and only wanted glory for themselves; their worship was dead.
When we set our focuses on Christ and doing His will, He will use us for it. So it's not a question of "good christian"/ "bad christian", but just being a Christian who loves God and strives for holiness.
@dbman63@xanga - sweet comment!
I think the minute we start looking at how our behavior stacks up against others, we get it all wrong. Other people aren't our measuring sticks--Jesus is. And the only way we get to know who Jesus is is by reading His word. Obviously, the difficulty often comes when we see that Jesus doesn't have a lot to say about things like clubs or TV shows or Greek life, so it is then up to us to allow the Holy Spirit to guide us and show us the basic principles underlying Scripture so we can use them in our daily life. If you feel convicted about your behavior because you feel it doesn't reflect Christ, change it. But don't change it to conform to some vague, cookie-cutter Christianity. I love a quote by Max Lucado that says, "God loves you just the way you are, but He doesn't want you to stay that way. He wants you to be just like Jesus."
As for how I feel as a Christian, I've been convicted myself about my relationship with the Lord. As I think back to college, I had such a rich walk with Christ. Sure, I struggled as I struggle now with things, but my seeking was much more intense, more focused, more devoted. And if God hasn't changed (and of course He hasn't), then that means I have gone terribly wrong somewhere, and I'm trying to find my way back. It's not that I'm obviously backslidden, getting drunk and partying and the like; on the outside my life looks very much like it did back then, but the heart distance between Christ and me has grown, and I know it's only because I have moved.
A good christian is one who follows the example of christ as best they can. A good person is one who obeys their conscience. I think the two overlap a good deal.
i think that when you start to focus on the "good christian" aspect, you're setting yourself up to be a Pharisee--basically doing all the right things for the wrong reasons.
jesus died for all of us and no matter what we "do" we can't really deserve it. it all goes back to mercy and grace (which i admit i still have issues comprehending at times)
thanks so much for sharing this, it's an issue that most if not all christians are confronted with.
There's no such thing as a good Christian or a bad Christian. You won't find that in the Bible. You either are a Christian, or you aren't.
(And, some may be offended at this, but just saying you're a Christian doesn't make you one.)
Oh, and Timothy never wrote any words that appear in our Bibles... :)
Ultimately, I would hope that being a "good Christian" means that we are living our lives in obedience to the commands of Christ.
i totally agree w/ what you said at the end...God doesn't look at our outside but our hearts and our relationship with Him.
in general, i believe that we show our love for God by being obedient to Him and obeying His commandments...although we are saved not by works but by grace, when we are saved, we should stop sinning.
of course, everyone's definition of "sin" varies...even though we may think that we are not sinning b/c we are mature in the faith while others do, we would be sinning b/c we cause others to stumble (1 Corinthians 8:9-13)
I really like Romans 14:22-23:
22 You may believe there’s
nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and
God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they
have decided is right. 23
But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something,
you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following
your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are
sinning.
so yeah, there is no one definition of a "good" Christian but there is such thing as a stereotypical Christian...i'd say, if it causes another believer to stumble, DON'T do it
@dbman63@xanga - Great words.
@meriibunny@xanga - Contrary to what we want to believe, God's declaration about men is this: No one is good. No one does good. (See Romans 3.) That's why Jesus had to come.
By faith Christ's goodness is imputed (counted) to us, so we can stand before a Holy God and not be condemned. And by faith Christ's nature is imparted to us so we can begin to live a good life, a life like Christ.
Apart from Christ, no good dwells in us and we can do no good. All our righteousness (all our goodness) is filthy rags in the eyes of a holy God.
I am not a good christian or a bad one. I am just a christian. Plain and simple. I mess up and God forgives me. I mess up again and he shows me his grace. I mess up another time and he showers me with his mercy......I think we all do. I don't worry about being good or bad because we all fall short of the glory of God and still he loves us.
Isn't being christian binary? Like, you're either Christian or not. There are no "good" or "bad" Christians.
I think we just need to be constantly be reminded that we're saved in Christ and because Christ is substitutionary atonement for our sins.. and, since we cannot possibly save ourselves just by being "good." The Pharisees were "good," the Sadducees were all "good." They did everything they were supposed to.
I mean, with bein saved look back to when the Hebrews were saved/liberated from Egypt. They weren't halfway saved.. they were UNCONDITIONALLY saved. Even the ones who doubted god's power and was worried about the egyptians comin after them. The 40 years roaming in the "desert" shows that they forget His promise and how they constantly needed reminding. That's no different from who we are.
Thanks for the inspiring post! I respect people's religion.. I believe that everyone can be worthy in the eyes of God.. For the Lord looks deep within a person's heart and He knows everything.. God bless! :)
@meriibunny@xanga - If everyone's good in God's eyes, then nobody would go to hell.
@Alysa21@xanga - There's no such thing as a good Christian or a bad Christian. You won't find that in the Bible.
You need to read I Corinthians 3:11-17.
to be a good christian?put jesus the center of your life.allow Him to be your driver.put always your trust on him alone.
musterion99: Isn't it those who go to hell are those who do not believe in Christ?
I don't think this is a grey-area topic. I believe that you're either a Christian, or not. But I do sort of see where you're getting at with the quality of a Christian. Being a Christian means believing in Christ. It is up to you to act more or less like Jesus. However, we always have to be aware that when we call ourselves Christians, people will use us as an example of what Christians are. We represent a group of people who believe in the same thing and have the same value, so others might judge all of us by one person.
I hope I make sense :X I'm usually a silent reader here at revelife and I'm not used to voicing my opinions. :)
I feel exactly the same .
Though I don't think that doing any of those things really make you a 'bad christian'...
It's a fine line between legalistic ritualism and whole-hearted service of the One you love. My pastor, when discussing dating/marriage, often makes a distinction between "good Christian guys" and "Godly men." The former are those who attend church and are generally decent people. The latter are those who make the pursuit of God their primary purpose in life, and everything they do is a reflection of that. (This applies to girls too.)
It's not just about doing good things and not doing "bad" things. It's about living your life in a way that brings glory to the name of the Lord. Generally, yes, this involves good things. But it's difficult to quantify. It's a mindset, more of a qualitative thing. I don't volunteer with my church because it's "a good thing to do"... I volunteer with my church because it deepens my own relationship with Him, it gives others the opportunity to see more of Him. It's not measured by how many Sundays in a row I went to church, or how many people I invited to church. God looks at my heart and says, "Thank you for serving me even when there may not be visible results."
To be a Christian you must be a follower of Christ and exhibit a spirit such as and to be Christ-like. I think saying "good Christian" is a bit redundant considering all Christians should be good. My pastor often says, "there's no such thing as a cussing Christian"...Jesus didn't cuss and to claim you are a Christian is to claim that you are attempting to be more like Jesus. This is not to say we don't slip up on occasion, we are merely human, but to know you slip up often and to rationalize it by saying, "Oh but I talk to God" isn't enough. If your relationship with God is close and tight then all the other things sort of fall into place. There is a guilt when you watch something you shouldn't be, the curse words sort of just leave your vocabulary, etc. Not saying that all happens over night in every situation but it is a process...getting close to anyone is a process. The closer you are to Christ, the more you'll be like him. If you think of many kids, or even adults, when they spend a lot of time with a particular person they tend to behave more like them. The same applies when you spend a lot of time with God. I don't feel there is any such thing as a "good" or "bad" Christian...you either are striving to be more Christ-like or your not.
What an insightful post! God Bless you for laying your heart so open to millions of people!
I think the entire idea of a "good Christian" is evil. I think it is inspired by Satan himself to get us all to take our eyes off of Christ and focus them on ourselves. It is such a pervasive idea in this culture, and it is so against what our Lord Taught us. Jesus repeatedly condemns those who try to prove their own righteousness through their actions.
The conviction we feel to change our actions is the Holy Spirit shaping us. As you say, we should respond to those promptings in order to have a closer relationship with our Lord. But the moment we wonder how we are compared to someone else (even compared to our own possible best), we lose sight of him again.
So, you are completely right in saying it's all about the relationship.