Wednesday, August 20, 2008
-
Being a Pincushion is No Fun, But God Made Me That Way!
by miss poppy
I have "bad" veins.
Almost every time I make one of my (unfortunately frequent) visits to the hospital, I am confronted by frustration. Two weeks ago it took three tries to get an IV site. Night before last it took four tries to get blood.
This issue, more than almost any other, drives me to the point of near distraction. Being a pincushion is no fun.
"Your veins are tiny! They don't go like normal veins."
"Your veins roll."
"I saw it a minute ago, but now it's gone."
"Usually fair-skinned people are easy to stick, but your veins are too deep."
The list of issues seems never-ending. I get paranoid as people traipse through my hospital room and attempt to stick me over and over. I reached a really low point when I was in the hospital two weeks ago. My IV had infiltrated, meaning that the vein was blown and fluid was pushing into my arm. No one seemed to be able to find another IV site. People came in and out, tying tourniquets and wiping my arms with alcohol. Finally, I was very stressed and feeling crazy. I waited for the so-called expert to come and attempt to stick me again.
I begged for God's help. Then, He showed me something. In my mind I saw my arm, with the network of veins under my skin illuminated. I saw what appeared to be God's finger tracing the delicate blue lines. The pattern they made was beautiful. I knew that the Being who was tracing those lines was glorying in them. He was an artist viewing His handiwork, enjoying what He had made. It was as if He was smiling, saying, "Of course they're different from anyone else's veins! I made them that way! Aren't they beautiful?" And they were.
My vein woes did not end that night; in fact, they continue to the present. But that night was a marvelous reminder of God's delight in His artistry. The differences that appear strange to human understanding are purposeful works of one-of-a-kind art.
My heart is thrilled with the thought of our artist-God, poring intently over the creation of the tiniest part of the physical makeup of one human being. He cares so much! Nature does not randomly select what we will look like or the color of our children's eyes. God, the ultimate maker of masterpieces, is intimately concerned with the formation of His creation. And He glories in and adores what He has made.
Irregularity is the mark of divinity, showing the joyful creativity of a God who cannot be mundane. Every finger print is a canvas, every capillary a medium for God to show His joy in His inventiveness. The heavens declare God's glory. So does the unseen masterpiece that an infinitely joyful God placed underneath my skin.
Do you have any physical "irregularities?" How do you feel about the way God designed you?
-
recommend
- recs 0
- give stars
- votes 1
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Post a Comment
- Back to revelife's Revelife Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in revelife's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (19)
Kudos to whoever found that picture! It's so appropriate!
yeah, i don't look like pretty girls. or even like normal (or common) girls. i think this used to bother me, but i've gotten over it for the most part...
ugh, and i feel for you for no one being able to find your veins. i have the same problem. so i have a paranoia of needles now b/c of it...
I used to be very self-conscious about my appearance. I have a very...distinct (a.k.a. large) nose, a cowlick that causes my hair to almost always stand up in back, and overly thick eyebrows. Yet over the past few years, God has shown me that these things are very unimportant in the long run and, as you said, that He made me this way on purpose.
Thank you for sharing this!
I relate totally to you and your veins! I am a 'hard stick' as well. I have medical issues that require regular blood work and it usually takes at least 3 or 4 phlebotomists to get a vial of blood from me. It's like a medieval torture session sometimes..and the very sentences you describe pepper the conversation as they tourniquet me yet again and try for a vein in my forearm.
Anyway I often wondered why God did what he did when I was created. why the rare metabolic disorder? or the nerve bundles where nerve bundles usually aren't? I'm not trying to offend anyone here but I wonder if God was aggravated the day I got created..or maybe it was just a weird set of genes coming together. :::shrugs::: Hey! I wonder if that makes me a mutant? lol
Thanks for this post. I have "bad veins" too. I know all about being a pin cushion. Thanks to you, I have a new way of looking at this.
Great post! I used to faint often (especially in the heat or when I was feeling overwhelmed) due to my low blood pressure. Sometimes it was hard remembering that I was designed this way, much less being grateful for it...but I guess the mild suffering was a great reminder to thank God when I was feeling better (or could survive an especially warm day, hehe.)
@Pariahtich@xanga - I think pain and disorders are a result of the Fall. There's a difference between design differences and actual problems. I don't think God wants us to have diseases and medical problems. I think He allows them for a purpose, but it's different than the way that He actively designs our appearance and good, regular bodily characteristics. There is nothing wrong with my veins; they're just different because God made them that way. My immune system doesn't work right, but I don't think God made that happen on purpose, even though He did allow it; it's a product of sin in the world. That's my opinion :)
Ugh. I have very small veins and nurses always have a heck of a time trying to stick needles in me. When I was two and living in the Philippines I was very sick from some disease (I can't remember the name of it) so my parents took me to a very rural hospital. The nurses there only had about the equivalent of a 3rd grade education and could not find any veins. They kept sticking me over and over again and eventually they had to put the needles in my forehead! >.< Unfortunately, I have a very good memory so I remember the entire thing.
I'm not scared of needles (I mean...I have four tattoos), but it's the blood drawing and IVs that get me. The IVs are not so bad but every time I get my blood drawn I either faint or throw up.
@bittersunday@xanga - How horrible! I've been afraid that they were going to have to go somewhere weird like that to get an IV in. Thankfully it hasn't happened. I can't imagine how awful that was as such a young child. I bet your parents had a rough time, too.
Except for the months when I work on getting rid of pregnancy blubber, I have actually come to really like the way God made me. I don't love it and I don't spend a whole lot of time thinking about it, but when I do, I find that I like myself on the whole. I'm not pencil thin, but I appreciate my curves and I appreciate that I have the ability to make them more attractive for my husband by exercising and eating healthy. I have quirky things like ears that are place just crooked enough that every pair of sunglasses sits on a diagonal across my face (annoying), but I don't hate my ears. They do the job, y'know?
The only thing about myself that I wish I could change, but am convinced never will, is the stretch marks. Having two kids has done crazy things to the skin on my legs and stomach. Those bug me.
But I'll live. And my hubby don't complain!
~V
Now and then I try to remember when a blood drive will be nearby and prepare for it, but I can never remember which of my arms has "better" veins. I think the past few times I've given blood, they've started with the wrong arm, so I get an extra stick or two. =| Not as bad as what you've described, though. I can only imagine how trying that would be!
Apparently I have "duck feet" (according to the last guy I ever let fit shoes on me when I was about 10 years old) and usually have to find either wide sizes or the next half-size up for dress shoes. I'm not a shoe fanatic, but it can be frustrating trying to find a suitable size. However, I don't mind my feet's appearance too much. I tell myself I have slightly more balance that way. ;)
i love that you're able to see god's goodness/awesome come through even in the midst of this.
i also have an immune system disorder (lupus) which has caused me quite a bit of grief. but i'm thankful b/c he's allowed me to look at others who are suffering with merciful eyes and an understanding heart.
I feel for you. I have horrible veins as well. And I also am a frequent hospital visitor.
There isnt a thing I would change about myself. I have been diabetic for a decade now and people tell me how bad they feel for me, how it isnt fair, how they wish I didnt have to deal with it. But how I look at it is, it happened, I cant change it and I definantly wouldnt be the person I am today without it. I wouldnt be as mature and wouldnt have the appreciation for life that I do. I am thankful for my disease because of that. And the multiple shots a day make the many IV sticks an easy thing. :)
<3OnceAponALongLostRoad
@Pariahtich@xanga - @misspoppy - If we consider Paul's thorn in the flesh a physical ailment (which many theologians do, i.e.-a problem w/ his vision), then see how even though it was "a messenger of Satan to harass him," God had a sovereign purpose in it: to keep Paul from being prideful and to remind Paul of God's sufficiency and to know God's power in weakness (see I Cor. 12). Satan meant it for evil, but God meant it for good (see Gen. 50:20).
Paul's thorn in the flesh was an instance of Romans 8:28: ALL things work together for good for those who love God and are the called according to His purpose.
That is a wonderful promise to all who have trusted in Christ. That ALL in Romans 8:28 includes those "physical irregularities" many of you have mentioned...
Take heart that God knew what He was doing when He created each one of us:
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there were none of them.
17
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
(Psalm 139)
I praise God that He made me above average in my health:
I never have headaches before... not in my 23 years of existence so far anyway.
I have people telling me that I'm a freak for never having headaches, and warn me that I will get a very bad one in the future, because of all that 'stored up headache-ness', like a volcano. I'm no medical student, but I don't think it works that way!
Not that I'm boasting, but I think we should thank God not only for "mishaps" but also for good health attributes.
I'm actually the opposite of you, doctors and nurses comment on how big my veins are. My brother's are the same. On a hot day, or on a day where I'm doing a fair bit of physical labor, if I lay my arm down to the side my veins bulge from my arm. Some of it may have to do with the fact that I'm comparatively skinny compared to most people, but I really can't gain weight, a gift I guess, even though I eat quite a lot from time to time. I'm looking at my arm right now and I can see practically all the veins in my arm, those being the ones towards the outside of the arm. It creeps some people out when I make them really bulge, but I like my veins. Leaves no need for any foreign body art when I'm all natural. When I'm bored sometimes I'll catch myself staring at them following them along my arm like a road map. They're quite fun. But I'm glad you've come to love having small veins. God makes us all unique, and it is in that uniqueness that we find the beauty in God's work.
http://www.xanga.com/In_Reason_I_Trust/670961832/indulgence-not-abstinence.html
I can REALLY relate to the bad veins. Mine are terrible, and I have all of my battle scars to prove from a recent hospital stay. Bad veins + IV steroids = really really bad veins So not only do I act sick, but there is no missing it when you look at my arms. I am now three weeks out from my last hospital stay, and I still have nasty looking arms. Yes, I struggle with that. I don't want to think of myself as sick, that is not WHO I AM. Right now it is who I am though. It is tough to really just rest knowing that God has allowed me to be where I am. To really just acknowledge that He is GOD, LORD, all knowing and creator. That God is worthy of all praise because of who HE is, and that somehow this is all part of His plan for me. Someday I WILL be able to rejoice in the person that I am becoming through this. Today it stinks. I want to get up and run around screaming with frustration. Of course I can not get up and walk around very well, much less run around. The Bible tells us that man's wisdom is foolishness to God. So I am trying very very hard to rest in that. My children think MY wisdom (no you can not play in the street) is foolishness so I guess it is easier to not understand when I think of myself as the child as God as the Father.
How sad that you have such a bad experience with IV sticks! If for some reason you are in the hospital next time you should warn the nurses about it and ask for them to possibly start a central line. The MD is the one who does it...one stick and you're done. I'm a nursing student myself and I always feel so terrible when I can't find my patient's veins. At least God was able to reveal more of Himself through it though!