Friday, August 29, 2008
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Basics of Christian Life Many Christians Don't Seem to Know, Pt. 1
by miss poppy
The other night my mom and I were discussing two things that we believe are basics of the Christian life that lots of Christians don't seem to know about. Here is the first one:
If we have deep internal desires, then God means for those desires to be met by Him. He didn't create us with longings and then fail to provide for them or command us to stifle them.
C.S. Lewis was big on this. He said that the presence of desire presupposes an object of desire. This is why people keep getting addicted to things. How many of us Christians are workaholics, foodaholics, in sinful relationships, or simply walking around unfulfilled because we don't understand that God really does want to meet our needs? We will fill up our holes, no matter what it takes. We still do this, even if we deny that the holes are there.
I used to have problems with this. I thought that if I was more spiritual, I wouldn't have all of these primal needs. I thought I would sort of float away into some kind of transcendental state in which I would be fulfilled by praying for hours without any comfort.
Instead, as I sought God, he brought my needs and desires to the forefront of my mind. They wouldn't go away. And then the glorious day came when I finally realized that the desires were not wrong. They were meant to draw me to God. I began to go to Him, timidly at first, and He lavished me with the love that I craved in my innermost being.
I think one reason we resist connecting with our inner desires is because doing so forces us to realize how childlike we still are no matter how grown up we've become. Our desires may seem more sophisticated on the surface, things like success, financial security, and romantic fulfillment, but if we look deeper, we find that our childhood desires for love, security, and parental acceptance remain.
I think this is where we have to get. We have to peel back the layers and allow the child's heart to be exposed. Then we can cry out to God for the things we truly crave, not just the superficial things we think we want and need. Our father loves the neediest parts of us, and He is longing to fill them with His comfort and love.
Sadly, it seems like plenty of people try to squelch their desires because they either think those desires are wrong or they have lost hope that those desires will ever be fulfilled. I love the ministries of Brennan Manning and John and Stacy Eldridge (even if I don't agree with everything they say) because they encourage people to connect with their innermost needs and then bring those needs and trust the Father to meet them.
It breaks my heart that even among Christians, many seem to be lacking the abundant, lavish fulfillment that their relationship with God is meant to provide. I certainly haven't mastered bringing my every desire to God, but I do know without a doubt that He wants to fulfill every one of them.
Do you think an intimate relationship with God can fill your deep internal desires? Do you bring your hopes, wishes, goals to God?
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Comments (26)
Dead on target. Thanks for posting this.
There's truth in what you wrote but it also can turn into selfishness where all we think about is ourself and our own desires.
Do you bring your hopes, wishes, goals to God?
Yes, but my main prayer is - "Not my will but thine be done".
i'm curious as to what the second one was.
yes! Such a great post! and thanks for quoting my favorite author.
Over the last few months I have seen this become apparent in my life. I would recommend for you to read John Piper's book "Desiring God (Christian Hedonism)", which totally brings this truth in to perspective. I would also recommend "Christian Reflections" by C.S. Lewis, but you've probably already read that one.
It is sad when people look at Christianity as some religion that is about restraining yourself and your pleasures, even sadder is many Christians believe that. The Bible is full of joyous followers of God! Once you have the Holy Spirit, your desires will start to turn towards God and you will find incredible joy in Him! It's funny that I actually feel like a hedonist around my non-christian friends because I find joy in every situation (unless it is something sinful). God gave us desires to fulfill them (but not temptation or sin; James 1:18). Heck, He wouldn't give us hunger if we didn't need food.
I would ask anyone who read this post to think about this thoroughly and take it to heart.
Psalm 16:11
Psalm 37:4
I desire to strangle a certain teen I know. Wait a second...
just kidding.
My desire to prove you wrong must be rooted from the need to be right. And thus, I must seek out truth as laid out in the Bible by God in hopes that I would live according to this truth. by doing so, I would be both right and find my deep desire satisfied in Him.
As for my desire to destroy this certain teen, definitely a desire of the flesh. I don't think I can say that this desire was planted by God. Just a guess. So yes, God does give us desires that are to be met by Him. But no, not all desires are from God.
spot on. good post.
@bboy_dan@xanga - I hope that teen isn't yourself!? ah well, you're showing restraint.
John Piper's base ideal that he presents to anyone who calls Christ their Lord is this... that satisfaction in God brings honor and glory TO God...
this is how he puts it, "God is MOST glorified in you when you are MOST satisfied in Him."
and u can translate to our everyday living in such a way on a temporal scale... whether it be a girl/boy, a starbucks drink, your favorite jeans, your bicycle you got on ebay, the degree etc etc etc... if you're satisfied with it, you're gonna by default glorify it by not shutting up about it... now turn that vertical... and you got what Piper is talking about...
and everything else that you desire or are asking God for is just another outlet for God to receive glory in... a Christ-centered marriage, a Christ-centered work ethic, a Christ-centered financial plan, a Christ-centered way of thought etc etc etc....
granted not ALL desires come from God per se... such as the desire to kill, steal, cheat on your spouse etc...
but the desire for marriage, desire for pleasure (doesn't have to be sexual), desire for exhilaration etc... all do and can come from God per se... it's just a matter of how you translate such desires... center them on Christ or on yourself....
i think that's a key proponent to this idea of thinking...
that in all you do, you do it unto to glory of God where in God is the source of your satisfaction... and in it He will get glory for it because you're satisfied in Him...
Great post.
@bboy_dan@xanga - I am talking about deep human needs, like unconditional love and acceptance.
@musterion99@xanga - This is true; however, it is also true that God's will is to be in fellowship with us, and that fellowship always blesses and fulfills us. God doesn't ever interact with us in a way that doesn't bless us, and He made us to crave deep love. That love is only found in Him, but many, even Christians, are looking for it somewhere else because they think it's unholy to be so needy or to ask God for affection. The Bible tells us to ask, seek, and knock. God is our Father, and His desire is love us.
If I am experiencing a deep soul longing, I don't believe I'm called to act like it's not there. It's better to be honest with God and then ask Him for more of Himself because His Being fulfills everything I ever want and need. He is honored when I trust Him with my deepest and most childlike yearnings instead of trying to hide them and then trying to fulfill them some other way, which I will definitely do (as will every other person) if those needs are not satisfied in God Himself
When we honestly, humbly, gratefully, and trustingly pray for God to fulfill our deepest desires, we can know we are praying in His will because He wants to be our highest good, deepest joy, greatest fulfillment, and dearest love. He created those needs and desires so that He could fulfill them. Isn't it time we let Him in a greater way?
"If i find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flelsh that i fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared"
~"C.S. Lewis Song" (by Brooke Fraser)
I think there's a reason why so many people give up on God. And that is because they do not feel satisfied, no matter how hard they try to love God and do what will please Him. If God is so amazing then why doesn't He satisfy my every desire? I don't think I did anything wrong, I'm just as human as anyone else.
@AgapeMeansLove@xanga - We must approach God with faith that He is who He says He is in the Bible. I know from experience that He will satisfy my desires because He Himself is my fulfillment.
The thing that will get us to total fulfillment is desiring God for Himself, because He is total satisfaction. I have happiness and great enjoyment when I'm with Him.
However, He's not a cosmic Santa. When I say He fulfills desires, I mean deep, ultimate desires of our hearts. I don't mean the things we want to make ourselves look better or do better in life. Those things won't help us in the long run, but the things He gives us satisfy us completely and last forever.
If you haven't yet experienced fulfillment in God, it's not because He doesn't want to give it to you,. He's dying to give it to you; in fact, He already died for you. I encourage you to ask God to reveal Himself to you in a new way and then to keep yourself open to Him. We must seek God on His terms, not on ours, because He knows what we need and really, truly want more than we do ourselves. He loves you dearly and completely. Sincerely ask Him to show you how, and He will.
ty i agree~
I'm wondering if partly that was the rich young ruler's dilemma - he had what the world could offer him as well as a decent moral standing. It can seem hard, almost impossible or crazy, to let go of the things that we are aware of with our natural senses and that we know satisfy us in some way in order to take hold of something that we must have faith in without having something immediately tangible. My frustration is often that I'm flighty with God - in wanting to quite myself and listen to Him, spending time in prayer or quite worship, I am easily distracted by those things I can physically sense. As others have said though, you're spot on. In times when I've truly turned to Him in desperation and personal frustration, sometimes even out of the blue, God has comforted me and impactfully reminded me of His love. Just thinking of His love as shown through providing a way in Christ that we could have a relationship with Him - His memory toward me is much greater than I know, and mine for Him certainly pales by comparison.
I think the one problem with this, as an "experienced" widow raising children alone for 14 years, is that we are still human beings, no matter how "spiritual" we are, or how close to God we feel. We still have human needs, physical needs (and I don't mean just sexual) material needs, companionship needs, helpmate needs.....God is a spirit. Yes, he can listen to us, he can intervene for us (but does not always...) he can "be there" for us, we can have a relationship with him, but he does not drop down out of the sky and help us teach our sons who've lost their daddy how to tie a tie. He does not give us footrubs and backrubs. He does not make dinner when we are dead tired after a day at work, while receiving phone calls all day from three children who need things, and you feel like all you've been doing is putting out fires all day. He does not clean our house, pay the bills when we're struggling and running short, and while yes, he does give us strength and wisdom, most days we don't feel as if we have enough of either. A spiritual relationship is wonderful...but we are not yet purely spirit, or immortal, or living in the eternal realm only.
Don't get me wrong; my relationship with God has grown over the years and He has blessed me in many ways, but sometimes a purely spiritual relationship doesn't fill all of the gaping holes in our very human existence.
@musicmom60@xanga - I agree. That's why God gives us other people to bless us, too. God meets our needs through their love and kindness and help.
@misspoppy - Yes, sometimes that happens, usually out of the blue. Happened to me today, as a matter of fact. I'm talking about the nitty-gritty, day-to-day grind, when we cry out to God for something we desperately need, NOW, at that moment, because we are so alone, and it's then that his spiritual-only nature is so glaringly revealed.
@musicmom60@xanga - I believe God is always working in a personal way in those times. He is not limited in any way, whether by flesh or by spirit. His hand is at work on our behalf, even when we can't see it. His heart is always close to ours when we need Him.
The Bible tells us to cast all of our cares on God because He cares for us. That verse includes every care, not just those we consider spiritual in nature. We are told to cast our cares on God because He can handle every single one of them, whether big or small. He is totally unlimited by anything, whether physical or spiritual. He always hears us when we call, and He is always waiting to help is in any and every situation. His spirit is stronger and more tangible and powerful than flesh. He works in our world, and He intervenes in our lives. There is nothing beyond Him, and He can do anything in any situation.
I believe that sometimes He uses people to bless us with love and practical help.
Very insightful post about human desires, versus discovering what God's will is for life. Many people are looking for a kind of perfect sexual identity and fulfillment as part their quest to satisfy their psyche and even their soul at the same time. If they are doing this in a way that leads them to life they won't find everything perfectly the way they want it, but that it is not true fulfillment anyway. I'm talking from the perspective of marriage mainly and that fulfillment in marriage is a quest where desire meets duty and finds a happy union if love is the bond. People though who chose the celibate life should realize that in place of what we look to as traditional sexual fulfillment, their destiny and even happiness will be determined by their willingness to explore creativity and beauty of their particular gifts that they can use to help others whether through music, art, writing, or just plain ole hands-on volunteer work where self is not the center but rather learning the secret that it is more blessed to give than to receive. To the men, especially, I would say get away from performance enhancement and all the hype and try character enhancement instead to be the great lover or another other kind of admirable archetype.
Great post!!!
The really frustrating, unfortunate thing about Christianity today is that so many of us are taught that it means denying yourself the things that would make you happy. People think that it means being poor and miserable, but pretending to be happy because self-sacrifice is a good thing. Well, I'm glad that that is changing now--people are realizing the truth. The Bible is full of references to how much God loves us and how much He wants the absolute best for us. Being a Christian doesn't mean never making a mistake, being perfect, being poor or unhappy.
Look at Solomon: he asked God for wisdom, to rule his kingdom well. Do you know what God did? Not only did He make him the wisest man who ever lived, He also made him the richest man in history! God's plans for our future are prosperous and hopeful (Jeremiah 29:11) and He is always taking care of us (Matthew 6:33).
God tells us to approach Him like little children (Matthew 18:3, Mark 10:15, Luke 18:17). When I realized what it meant to approach God with childlike faith, trust, and openness, my relationship with Him improved dramatically. I am so much happier knowing that I can tell Him what's bothering me, tell Him that I'm stressed out, tell Him what I want and need, and know that He wants me to have it!
@AgapeMeansLove@xanga - I think you're right.--those I know who have 'given up' on God have done so because they were hurt or offended by someone, or because they don't feel fulfilled "no matter how hard they try to love God and do what will please Him." I was reading this book by Joyce Meyer called Tell Them I Love Them that explains the true root of the problem you described here. It's not really about "how hard we try to love God and please Him." The Bible says that we love God because He first loved us (I John 4:19), which implies that in order to truly love Him (without have to try so darn hard), we must first understand how much He loves us. We need to truly grasp the fact that He wants the best for us, that His deepest desire is to be close to us and to bless us and fulfill the desires He has put in us. It's not quite so difficult to love someone when you know they love you. So like Miss Poppy said, I encourage you to ask God to reveal to you how much He truly loves you.
Great post!
I've struggled with that idea (and a few others as well, admittedly) but the nice thing about revelife is that not only are the posts themselves good food for thought, but the comments in response to them add that much more to consideration.
We see ourselves sort of a Caleb generation type. You know – they spent 40 years in the desert and the time had arrived to walk into the promise land. We honestly believe that we are just now entering what will be the best years yet.
We have taken careful stock of what we are focused on, where we are spending our time, money and talent. We came to a conclusion that we are most happy when we are focused on the simple things. Our desires are clearly centered on having quality time and relationships with our children and close friends.
I think in our consumer - ‘have to have it’ – marketing driven culture; it becomes too easy to be consumed by chasing after shallow things. It’s not that God does not want us to have nice things; but I think He does not want us to be consumed by them.
I often think of 1 Corinthians 6:12 - "Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. I think it is best for me to use this scripture as filter. If there is something I feel some pressing desire for; I filter it through this scripture. Additionally, I simply ask myself if it would be God’s best for me. The answers are not always simple, but using this process has made it easier for me.
Now days, my wife and I are focused on the right priorities. Building strong relationships with family, friends and colleagues. Making time to for ministry and not seeing all the varied areas of our life as separate. Prioritizing things with regard to finances and being sure that our time is spent wisely.
At the end of the day, we have found that the desires that make us truly happy are for the most part pretty basic. If we put God first, live a life that is balanced and not consumed by anything, we will find peace with God and He will fulfill the desires of our heart.
So I tried this, for years and years, to connect with God. No matter how hard I wished, I never felt comfort, never felt guidance, never knew how to follow God's will since I couldn't figure out what it was. (I understood the big issues from the Bible, but sometimes you face things that require more than just reading.) I studied, talked to all sorts of people, meditated, prayed for hours, went on retreats, went to church constantly, didn't go to church to clear my head, cleared my life of distractions and still could not find this feeling you describe. I struggle even now to connect to God, but after so many years, I'm beginning to fall into despair. The longing is there, but I have found no comfort through anything I've ever tried. I guess my point is that some Christians don't feel what you feel because it may come harder to some people.