Thursday, October 16, 2008
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Should I De-Tag My Questionable Facebook Pictures?
I have nearly 1,300 pictures of myself tagged on Facebook. The vast majority of them are very tasteful - pasta dinners with my college crew, chilling during a church retreat, treacherously handling my uncle's python - but I'm not gonna lie, if you go back a couple of pages, you'll see a few shots of me out clubbing with the girls (and the token male friend there to protect us from sketchy clubber boys.) None of the pictures are horribly embarrassing or super super trashy, as I don't drink much or grind with random dudes during a regular girls' night out, but now that I've become more involved with my church, I'm wondering if the clubbing pictures serve as a bad example for my younger brothers and sisters in the church.
I haven't de-tagged any of them because I don't like being dishonest. Like I said, it's not as if I'm doing the beer funnel or flopped all over a cluster of shirtless males - it's just pretty obvious I'm at a club. If someone at church decides to bring up that I go clubbing, I'll be honest with that person, and that person can judge me all he/she wants. I hate being judged as much as anyone else, but I also know it's a consequence of my going out.
Clubs aren't really my scene - nowadays, I rarely go, as I rarely drink a lot - but the past is the past. I'm not going to pretend things didn't happen, and in a way, I think it'd be encouraging for younger brothers and sisters remember that the people they may look up to don't lead perfect lives free of struggle....and that one can have exposure to the secular world and still turn out okay. That you DON'T need to be in the "Christian bubble" 24/7 to lead a holy life that glorifies God.
Most of the time, I live in the world. I can't help that my college crew is primarily composed of non-Christians, and I don't expect any of them to hold the same values that the church and my Christian friends do. Therefore, when they hold birthday parties at clubs, I go, because I'm personally not that convicted about clubs, and I want to show my friends that I appreciate spending nights out with them.
Really, the Facebook pictures bother me because I'm afraid of being a stumbling block. While I don't want those younger than me to be afraid of secular culture, I don't want to encourage them enter environments with a lot of tempting things that they themselves migh be convicted about.
Are there parts of your life that you hide from your Christian friends/younger brothers and sisters in the church? Where do you draw the line between being protective and being dishonest?
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Comments (28)
if the pics will lead to some sort of scandal (Oh my gosh, Christian girl over here goes drinkin) then remove them. However, if people know that clubbing isnt your personality but that you are a woman of God then you should be fine.
I know how you feel.
I love to go out because I love to dance and enjoy other people's company. And let's face it, there aren't many Christian clubs (places that play clean music) in college towns.
I don't hide anything from my Christian friends/family because I believe that when people understand your struggles, they are more inclined to want to talk to you about certain issues. I don't want to appear as that hypocrite. I started being sexually active at a young age, I drank, and all of that, and I want to be a walking lesson.
Despite what you used to do, there is salvation.
If you're ashamed and feel you have to hide the pictures, why would you put yourself in those scenarios in the first place?
Just a speculation.
I think it seems you are obviously feeling convicted for something...just pegging what your real issue is with it is the key. If you are still going out and doing these things then the pictures are true to who you are. If you aren't setting a full example in purity then don't try to give yourself a false image to others...this would in the long run result in an even bigger stumbling block. HOWEVER, if you no longer do any of those things then take the pictures down...despite how cute you might look in them.
I think de-tagging is lame. Don't take pictures that you might not be comfortable with later. That's your own fault. And de-tagging doesn't take the picture away. If it is in an album with 'tasteful' pictures, I can still scroll through and see what you didn't want me too.
what's so sinful about clubbing? like you said, you didn't get drunk or hook up with guys or anything remotely "bad." you were out with gfs at clubs... there's nothing wrong with that and you shouldn't feel embarrassed about it.
One of my Facebook friends is the pastor that officiated my wedding. You bet I've got "questionable" pictures on there! Do I care? Nope! None of the pictures show me doing anything I'd be afraid of doing in front of her. Sure, they might not be in the most "pure" locations, but it's not like the pictures are showing me in compromising positions or anything.
If you're so worried about what people think about what you do, either a) don't add them as Facebook "friends", and b) don't do those things in the first place! ;)
I honestly don't see anything wrong with going to a club. It's nothing to be ashamed of, it's just a place where people dance.
My mom used to say: If you think it's wrong, don't do it. If you think it's right, don't be ashamed of it.
Sounds like the Holy Spirit is convicting you! If it bothers you - it probably means He's trying to get your attention. We don't like that feeling sometimes, but God corrects His children, so we should at least be thankful He gets after us when we do things we aren't supposed to!
There's a difference in lying about your past and posting it online. You can witness to someone and tell them where you came from and how God brought you out of that lifestyle, but posting pictures of yourself participating in the old lifestyle with a big smile is different altogether! We usually post pictures of things that are important to us, and moments we want to share with others. How many times do we post pictures of our "enemies" so to speak or, for those of you who are like me and hate them, big ugly spiders?!
As Christians, we know where we've come from. But we also know the Bible tells us everything we do, we should do for the glory of God. It doesn't seem like pictures of clubbing would glorify God...and it appears you are beginning to feel that way yourself! I say delete them - then you don't have to worry about being a stumbling block - and you don't have to worry about appearing proud of something that would be a stumbling block to someone else.
It does seem you are troubled by this. Read through Romans 14:1-15:6 and prayerfully consider if you might be putting a stumbling block in the way of younger believers. You should not be dishonest about it, but there are some for whom your clubbing may be a stumbling block. It's something you certainly need to consider particularly if you are in a leadership/mentoring/discipleship position with Christians younger than you. You may also want to ask your pastor about it as well.
There's nothing inherently wrong with clubs, it's a place to mingle and nurture social or work relationships. It's fun to go dancing every once in awhile, and just because you're dancing at a club doesn't mean it's inappropriate. But I understand that it might be something to worry about because people will think whatever they want. Some of my relatives and my bf's mom are friends with me on Facebook. However, my parents know what I do and if they're ok with it, nobody else should have a problem.
it's always good to not have questionable pictures online ... especially since future employers are looking at your social networking site to see what kind of a person you really are and not the person you present at your interview.
i did a lot of volunteer work at orphanages & kids camps & with my church so a bunch of the younger girls looked up to me (according to the old ladies anyway!)
i got told by various people not to do various things they considered a bad example for the younger kids. my response is that the kids need to learn not to put people on a pedestal. i'm not God, i'm just another messed-up human being!
anyway, if you're not ashamed of it, you shouldn't let other people talk you into being ashamed of it.
as I've gotten older, I think I'm more liberal by some means and conservative in others...if you're not doing anything wrong but just being somewhere with friends in photos then ok that's fine, but if it's like at a strip club or a crack house then you know ..... not certain there. You know clubs are bad, it's the drunkenness that's bad, it's not bad to dance and have fun, but it's the sexual tension that's bad. People need to know the difference and I think it's a good learning tool to show people, hey it's ok to dance and have fun and be with friends, we're not locked up in chapel 24/7 we live in the world but totally don't get influenced by the world, we share with our friends who aren't believers and go where they are to meet with them. How can people feel comfortable with us if we don't spend time with them, but just use good judgement as to where.
btw nice retro 60s type dress. Sorry it's the designer in me speaking hahaha
I think it shows people that you're human and it's not like you're doing anything bad...so why worry?
yes.
when you lie about something or try to cover up something.
This issue has come up with many of the people I knew from college. In their case they are flat out drunk in the pics. Most of them are teachers and youth ministers now. It does not bother them that they have pics and their kids could gain access to them.
The issue is if you would be a stumbling block. I am not the best at quoting scripture, but in the NT stumbling is mentioned and we are told if we have anything that could make a brother stumble remove it. But it all comes down to your interpretation of the pictures. I may see you as a nice girl at a birthday party, but a youth may look at it and say " wow she was a party animal in college, so it must be ok" ( grant it that is an over exaggeration, but we all do view and interpret things differently).
If you do not hit the club scene as much any more and there is any question on if it will cause a problem, i would remove them from facebook. I am not saying to not be honest about your past. By all means be honest, the church needs more honesty in it. Just beware if left, they will always run the risk of being misinterpreted .
if you feel uncomfortable about them, remove the tags. but don't do it out of fear of what others might think. it's none of their business, and it's not their place to judge you.
Whatever blows your hair back!
@jediwa72@xanga - I'm with you.
@naphtali_deer@xanga - I agree. I think the most important thing is whether you are actively leading at your church or in a fellowship group. Like, if you help out with Youth Group or something like that, it may be good to be extra careful about what pictures you post. It may even be a good time to think about how you live while you are in that position of leadership. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with clubbing, but when you know there are people looking up to you, you don't want to be a stumbling block. Pray!
If you feel like there's something wrong with the pictures, de-tag yourself. But with Facebook, you can be tagged again, so it may just be best to remove the pictures. I had my parents go through my profile to see if it was okay, you may want to try that.
I don't see anything wrong with clubbing..If Christians are going to judge you based on the pictures or the fact that you went or go to clubs than I don't think they are true chirstians. The only one that should judge you is God. But if the pictures make you uncomfortable then you should take them down.
Soooo much righteous advice! What can I say?
Just go with life's flow. If you make real bad mistakes then you will have to be sent back to learn more in the next life on this earth until you get it right for the higher Cosmos or God's plan.
We should all be able to freely enjoy each other without guilt.