Wednesday, November 19, 2008
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Is it Lying to Teach Your Kids There is a Santa?
Guest post submitted by TheTheologiansCafe
When I was young, my parents told me that Santa was not real. My mom told me that her mother had lied to her so many times growing up that she wanted to be honest with us kids. She became a Christian right after she got married to my father.
Her thinking was that if she lied about Santa, we would have no way to know if she was lying about the existence of God.
My wife and I told our first two kids that there was no Santa. My wife felt that the kids missed out on some fun so when we had the 3rd child later on in life, we decided to go ahead and play Santa.
Is it breaking the command "Thou shalt not lie" if you tell your kids there is a Santa?
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Comments (188)
Personally, I don't see much difference between God and Santa. They both require faith (rather than concrete evidence). So I don't think it's that bad to "lie" to your kids about Santa.
I mean, how many people actually end up in therapy because they found out Santa Claus wasn't real?
Of course it is lying. There's no such thing as Santa Claus. Thou shalt not lie. All liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.
I'll definitely tell my kids the truth.I am not going to hell for that.
Santa's not real?
I'll eventually tell them the truth, but I think it will be fun for my children to think of Santa coming on Christmas eve. It was fun for me.
@PropheticWarrior - Sounds like someone got a big lump of coal in their stocking.
My mom felt the same way. She didn't want us to doubt the reality of a living Christ because we would some day find out that Santa wasn't really bringing us those presents. Santa is great because it adds mystery, tradition, fun, etc. It's fun seeing kids get excited. I think the best way would be to tell them the truth but say that it is fun pretending and maybe not admit where the presents really are coming from. Make em guess. That way when they figure it out, it will be fun, not heart breaking.
Sometimes telling lies that does not harm is all right.
Not really, at one point "Santa" did exist. Just not in the form we have it today.
I would play Santa for few more years.. it most def ruined my brother's and mine christmas after my mom told us worrying that kids at school would know Santa wasn't real and made fun of us for thinking he was real. I believe Santa is real in those hearts that believe. :)
My cousin ran away from home and called my aunt a liar after my aunt confessed that Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny were not real. I wouldn't want my kids to do that. I would rather be honest but request that they keep it at home as not to ruin it for other children. I would share the story of Santa Claus and make it a moralistic story for them, though. I want my children to know they can always trust me to tell the truth.
Really? We're worrying about breaking a commandment because of an ancient tradition of a holiday?
I'd tell your kids Santa's real for now, let them have a happy childhood and really experience Christmas as a kid.
I believe it is lying, even if you just do it until they know better.
I absolutely LOVE the way your mother viewed this..."Her thinking was that if she lied about Santa, we would have no way to know if she was lying about the existence of God." I'm going to make a point to remember that as that makes an EXCELLENT point!
I don't see anything wrote with getting the kids pictures made with Santa and even letting them open gifts, but I have decided our little girl is going to know the truth up front from the time she can understand it, :)
But then again, now that I've decided on that, I didn't realize I would not be able to do the Tooth Fairy thing with her either. I think I will just tell her it's mom and dad that leaves the money. I'm sure it won't be as exciting, but will just have to be that way...also for the Easter Bunny, lol.
It's funny because I was going to do a post about "What really is considered lying". I just haven't got to it yet, maybe soon. Too busy all the time it seems.
Great thought-provoking post. I love these kind, :)
Cheryl
Really? We're worried that a holiday tradition is lying? Get over yourselves and let your kids enjoy the holidays.
Your post also made me think, as related to is it lying or not telling them there is a Santa, about the scripture that says we cannot be lukewarm, that He will spew us out. I believe the same holds true with the Santa issue, either lie or not, either be lukewary or hot or cold, :)
i don't believe in telling my children about Santa, but I would also tell them not to ruin the fun for thier friends in school who beleive in Santa.
When I was 5 I asked my mom if santa was real, and she told me he was if I wanted him to be. i never got mad at her for letting me believe in santa, i was 5 and getting presents, why should i have cared where they were coming from. all little kids are different tho, some would probably take it harder than i did i imagine.
I don't think it's lying per-say. Personally, I think it's a fun little game that let's kids learn about faith in a good way. Of course they are going to figure out there isn't a Santa, but then again, they learned about what it truly means to have faith in something; not just God...
no. its not lying.
there IS a santa claus. a fake one. there's thousands of them everywhere...in malls and what not.
So...it's not really lying.
Yes, it's lying. A lie is a lie, there's no way around it. My goodness people, children can enjoy Christmas without Santa. It won't ruin their lives or their Christmas.
Someday when I have kids of my own, they'll be taught that Christmas is when we celebrate Jesus' birth (though it has been speculated as a few different dates... in March, September, etc.) and that we receive a gift or a few as a symbol of the Lord's gift of Jesus to us and the world. And when they start asking about Santa Claus, I'll tell them straight up about the original Saint Nic and that a lot of children in America are told by their parents that Santa Claus will bring them gifts on Christmas Eve, but they'll know the truth that it's the Lord that provides for them. I want their faith to develop strong in their childhood so that they'll have a firm foundation upon which to grow, even if it means them not believing in Santa Claus.
My parents told me from the start that Santa was not real. I still enjoyed the myth, but I'm glad they told me the truth. The point of Christmas is Jesus, and that's magical enough for me. Also, telling the kids that Santa gave them gifts means that they don't get a chance to be thankful to the person who actually gave them the gift. I knew that my parents and grandparents bought my presents, and it helped me to learn gratitude from a young age. I will never tell my children Santa is real. I do believe it is a lie and can harm the child's ability to trust the parents, though I'm not pointing my finger at someone who feels differently. It's a matter of opinion for each family.
It's kind of lying. Technically Santa is real, he's you... All the other bs about the elves and the north pole should be left out though.
It gives the kids some imagination. Lying is wrong, but if its all in good fun then I don't see too much of a problem with it.
Santa Claus is Jesus on Mushrooms :]
Yes.
Oh, this subject so touches a nerve with me, because that's one subject that seriously gets my mouth unhinged... :/ It's (Santa, Easter Bunny, etc.) not only lying outrightly, it's also celebrating the paganism which brought it into religion in the first place. Easter Bunny - google the goddess Ishtar, sometimes spelled slightly differently...the goddess of fertility (hence the bunny and egg images) - certainly pagan. I do not personally know where the tooth fairy brought herself into it, lol, but on a personal level, I just did not like being deceived as a child, and I have not deceived my children. We also do not participate in Halloween. I have asked my 14 yr. old recently, did he feel that he missed out on these youthful deceptions/candyfests? He said that he did not, that he was proud that he had never participated.
When I "found out" about Santa, I'd already figured it out a few years back, and every time I heard my parents lie to my brother and I about it, something hard burned in my gut...
I never felt it was right. But then often many things do seem so black/white-no-gray clear to me. We should listen to our instincts; mine tells me that it isn't right.
Exit from soapbox, I apologize. Normally I don't talk this much! lol ;)
It did hurt me a LOT when I found out that Santa wasn't real. After I got over that, I read some books about St. Nicholas and the legends surrounding him. I wish that my parents had told me about St. Nicholas, not Santa Claus. I think that besides that, the mystical feeling of Christmas and the awe of the story of Christ's birth are magic enough. That is what I will share with my children.
Parents believe a lie when they think they can lie to their kids and get away with it. When their kids actually find out the truth it will hurt their relationship with their kids. The future of a person who lies is not pretty.