Wednesday, November 19, 2008
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Sex is Beautiful
Guest post by AlterEgo909
There seems to be this misconception that Christians and non-Christians who believe that sex should be saved for marriage think that sex is something bad, disgusting, ugly, and so forth. I am here to tell you that as a Christian virgin waiting until marriage to have sex, I think SEX IS BEAUTIFUL. I think it is so beautiful, and so special, that I want to make sure that I am in a committed marriage to do it, and that I will only do it with one person for the rest of my life. I would like to respond to a comment I got on one of my other posts:
"I personally feel that waiting until your wedding night for your first time with someone is a bad decision. Usually the first time with a new partner is not really too good. It's a bit awkward, as you're both trying to find each other's 'rhythm' if you will. But the very first time for a woman is almost always messy and painful. Good luck with that on your 'magical' night."My response: Well, myself and my husband will have a long happy life together to discover our rhythm, make it good, and have our magic.
I never attempt to convince anyone that my way of thinking is the right way of thinking. I respect everyone's opinions whether they are the same as or opposite mine. I never put down or mock anyone's way of thinking....How do you feel about saving sex until marriage?
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Comments (117)
Sure it makes sense! It's delightfully old fashioned, and keeps it in a neat little box. I think its a great idea.
You are 100% right. I am committed to waiting, and I think sex is beautiful. I believe it's one of the closest physical representations we have of the beauty of our relationship with God. It's a wonderful, physical gift that we are meant to enjoy with our spouse.
As far as the first time being difficult, I'd much rather have that difficult experience with someone who loves me and is committed to spending the rest of his life with me than with someone who could dump me at the drop of a hat.
in my personal opinion waiting till marriage makes sex so much more special, when its something that only your significant other has experienced with you, or you with them. <3
I am all in favor of awkward, passionate honeymoon sex. :)
I think it (waiting for marriage) makes plenty of sense (I'm doing it myself).
My husband and I were involved in a premarital relationship up to the time that I called it off. There was much going on emotionally for me and I had a very disfunctional parent. 2 months later Ron sought me out to ask forgiveness for his part in us having sex outside of marriage. It was at that time we became re-engaged and made a vow to be celibate till our wedding night. By the grace of God we were. I believe that is the way God intended it to be. One man, one woman, united and the two becoming one. May I share that there is something in the way we refer to this very personal and intimate aspect of the marriage covenant? We chose to call if our 'sharing' not making love, for love can not be made. It will change the way you relate to each other when you realize that it is something you share. May God strengthen you as you seek His will for you life and your life partner.
I, too, waited until my wedding night to have sex with my wife. Our first time was terrible. For my wife, it hurt, and for me, I was nervous, which made things less than enjoyable for my part, and later, was terribly disappointed. The Devil, too, had a big laugh that night, chastising me for waiting.
"You waited 34 years for THAT! What a DUPE YOU were!!!!"
It was bad that first night.
However............
EVERY TIME and EVERY NIGHT SINCE THEN has been WONDERFUL, and every time, it gets better!!!! I never knew, and never realized that there was a woman out there, that there was another person in this world, with whom I could share such joyous intimacy. Marriage to my wife and our time together has just reinforced everything my parents, my pastors, my brother, and my friends ever told me: its best to wait. I have no regrets, no-one to compare my wife with, and she has no worries as towhether or not I have a child out there or am carrying a dread disease. I wrote a response on my Xangasite about this, and it is posted here.
All this to say, waiting until marriage is best, and this is coming from someone who waited. God's way is always the best way!
@NightCometh@xanga - Well put! I concur.
I'm not a virgin and I feel that it's anyone choice whether or not they want to save sex for marriage or not. I'm not going to judge anyone if they do or don't. It's their choice and I respect them for that choice.
For me, I had sex the first time when I was over 1 year into a committed relationship and we lasted for over 3 years. I think sex is a special connection with someone that you love so deeply, it hurts. I'm not one for one night stands because I would much more be happy in a relationship. I also wouldn't force someone to have sex with me or pressure them.
@JandJinJapan@xanga - I love that you admit your wedding night was "terrible." It takes an honest person to admit that gladly
My husband and I waited until we were married and neither of us have any regrets. I for one am very thankful that I don't have to worry about my husband comparing me to someone else, even if he didn't mean to. I'm sure he's happy knowing he's the only man I've ever been with. If the first night is awkward, would it not be best to let it be with someone who loves you completely and has vowed to never leave you? Your spouse isn't going to look down on you if the first night isn't perfect. You have the rest of your life to perfect your love, which is certainly one of the fun parts to marriage! It only gets better.
Thank you for your kind words, lifeofdory@xanga - for me to say anything else would not be the truth, but a lie: the first night was terrible, and my wife readily agrees with that. Every time since then, though, has been wonderful!
Absolutely the best idea. Marriage is the giving of one's entire self to a person you love and promise to love for the rest of your life, or theirs. What a gift to entrust ones first time to your spouse! What an amazing gift, even if it isn't considered "perfect" by the standards of the sexually experienced.
Also, if sex wasn't amazing, beautiful, miraculous and special, if it wasn't worth waiting for and sacrificing for, I would not have taken a perpetual vow of celibate chastity at the age of 24, still being a virgin. Did I take that vow because I hate sex or think it is evil? No! Precisely because it is so beautiful and amazing, I wanted to offer that gift to God and to His Church and His people. Hopefully that example will help people realize, too, how amazing sex is and how much honor and respect it deserves as not an end to itself, but a means and a servant to love and, ultimately, to God. Sex allows us to enter into the creative power of God; there is a huge responsibility there!
It makes perfect sense!
I would have sex before marriage, but only in a committed relationship; however, I wouldn't judge anyone who wanted to remain abstinent. We all make our own choices in our lives, so who am I to judge?
I'd like to echo what some of the other commenters were saying by adding the following:
Saving one's virginity for one's spouse isn't about the wedding night. It's about the lifetime. Sure, the first time may be painful or awkward or fumbly. That's not the point. The point is that you are sharing this incredibly intimate and vulnerable part of yourself with one person and one person only. And if it takes a few nights or a week or a month to get it right, that doesn't take away from the preciousness of total exclusivity.
does is makes sense to light a fire in the middle of your living room because fire makes the room warm?
anyone smart will tell you lighting a fire in the middle of the room is ridiculous as people who do it are morons...
if we view sex to be like fire... and view marriage like the fireplace... only then will it make sense....
people enjoy fire in a fireplace because it warms the room... people run from fire because it's arson....
sex in marriage is enjoyable....
sex outside of marriage is arson...
I agree that sex is beautiful and I commend you waiting for marriage...but I would commend you as well even if you decided not to wait if you chose it with someone you loved. I did not wait until marriage, but I was in a long-term committed relationship. I don't think there is any "right" or "wrong" time to lose one's virginity. It is a personal choice. Both my fiancee and I have been with other people sexually and I have to say that it does not take away from what we share one bit. He is "the one" for me. When you love someone that much, the past is simply a part of them. You either accept them or you don't. Love is what matters, not history.
@leadworshipper82 - It makes sense to light a fire only if you've thought long and hard about how you're going to construct the fire, safely. A fire not contained within a fire place does not automatically mean arson.
Perhaps I have a fire pit? I have gone through the trouble to create a safe place to build my fire, in a situation where there are very few ways for getting hurt, why am I wrong? Even fires in fire places can be dangerous.
Sure its reasonable to wait till marriage. I mean, sex in essence is an expression of undying love for a person, so on its own without committment sex will never be completely beautiful or completely satisfactory.
Thanks for sharing this with me. I ALMOST RUINED THE BEAUTY OF IT!!! It's a good reminder... I'll keep this in mind.
indeed, it is beautiful, sex is meant to be enjoyed within the bounds of marriage
I like the idea of waiting for sex until marriage.. (Although it's too late for me)
But what if you marry someone and you find out afterward that you aren't sexually compatible?
Like on Sex And The City.. The girl waited until her and her husband were married.. And he just found her too "innocent" to "get up." They ended up getting a divorce, because she couldn't get him to have sex with her.
Yea I know it's just a show, but what if it happen in real life?
@SoMuch_4_theAfterglow@xanga - Exactly!!!
I think to each their own. I don't think either way is the right or wrong way. It's up to each individual and their partner. If they feel it's right to wait, then they should. But if not, then they shouldn't be persecuted by others because they didn't wait.
For me, I didn't wait, and in a way I wish I could go back and only give myself to my husband... but then again, I am so glad I didn't because I know what else is out there and I know for a fact that I have my perfect partner